What's big and fat? An obese man.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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*insert joke here*

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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We are lawyers

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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