A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

penis

what time is it? 3:16

What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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