Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops