A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops