What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Pen15

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Drunk irish man

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Men, get on the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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