Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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the cast of the jersey shore

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops