How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a rapist.

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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A snake walks into a bar

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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