Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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We are lawyers

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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Knock Knock .....................Oh it was just the TV

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

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What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops