A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's red and hurts you? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the square root of 69? 8.3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a potato flew around my room

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Seth stock has a large penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops