What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

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1 Jew XD

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How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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