Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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