EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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Snausages.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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I'm banging your sister.

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How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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