What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...