Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'm taken

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -52

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops