How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

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5

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops