Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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.....Carrot Top....

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

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redtube

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Pen15

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Mrs. Welsh

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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