Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you hold someone in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a tall Asian Tall

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Bieber having an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I enjoy anal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops