Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

why are black people so good at basketball? Because all they have to do is shoot, steal, and run.fctswity (sultably

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

What's wrong with the beetles? They suck dick

How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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