A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Women's rights

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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