Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Yes. Just Yes.

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mc hammers income.

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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