I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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Matty B

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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Stephen Walking.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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