what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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What is White over Black? Society.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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