A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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lol a man is drowning

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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