A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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What do you call 6 dead people on your front lawn? A mass murder

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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