press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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the asian kid gets an F

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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