what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

Do you believe this will change?

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

who is awesome? no one...

How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

Im So Hood... That When I go Shopping, I Buy Sweatshirts with Hoods

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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