Ring Around The rosy, Pockets full of posey, Just kidding they are roofies and i'm going to rape you

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Anti-joke.com

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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i'm not gay

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Toaster

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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