Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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No. Yes.

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How many dead kittens can you fit into a trunk? -19

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops