A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

thumb_up thumb_down +31

wanna hear a joke? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops