Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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whats the difference between madalin mcan and batman...batman returns. not really madalin mcan gets rape fucked by many differnt men at the same time whilst she squeels for help

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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why was the black woman forced to sit in the back of the bus? all the other seats were taken.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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Woman's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops