A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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knock knock WUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!!!! WUUUUZZZZZUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZZZZUUUUUUUUP!!! WUUZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!! WUUUUUZZZZUU......

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What's a small person? A midget

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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