What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

Keep up the fun Nero!

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

knock knock who's there police

Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

Weiner

-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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