A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what's shaped like a tree? a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +31

roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops