Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What did the student say to the teacher? A: The answer is four.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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