Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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