Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Why did Jane scared of the video about a clown dancing in the room? Because it was her room.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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