what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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Sorry boss

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Halo < COD

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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where are you?

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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