what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Kenny died. The Bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

thumb_up thumb_down +34

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops