Cows go moo.

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

what do you watch ? a tv

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

Whats the XBOX JUAN's most popular game. Call of Juarez!!!

Hearpin my durp

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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