What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has been sexually abusing 6 for all his life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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