Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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man boobs

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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