Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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twilight

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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