Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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How do u get a baby to stop choking? Take ur c*ck out if its mouth!!!

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I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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