What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

The 13th Amendment...

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

Chicken penis.

Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

do you want to hear a joke?

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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