What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

http://Youtube.com/User/PeGamer22

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he obviously had to attend to his planned schedule which involved a meeting which was to take place on the opposite side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats better than an anti joke? Having sex with a supermodle

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops