Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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How many pieces of bling does it take to ruin a rap song? Just Two Chainz

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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brian mcgee is gay!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops