How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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You just won the game...

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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