Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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terry stockton is straight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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