DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Why did Michael Jackson became a white person? Because the society hates black people

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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How many hearts does a jellyfish have? None.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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...NO.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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