If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you do if you really really hate someone? You kill them. HEEE HEEE! by drew and jubie

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops