Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Obamacare haters

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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Not Steve Jobs

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops