The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Q

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops