Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Male penises.

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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